We all have met them.

Whether they are family members or friends, co-workers that you interact with everyday, clients that you have more limited contact with or people in the industry that you see once every month or so at an event, wedding or social gathering, they are after your SPARKLE, aka your happiness, positivity and inner light.

We say it is unnecessary and counterproductive to either be the one draining Sparkle or the one who is the victim of a soul-sucking, tank-draining, negative boob. No need.

Sure we all have bad days and have every right to talk about it. We get it. It is not always the dream we are living, but for those who are consciously or even subconsciously trying to extinguish your inner light, your drive, your forward progress, your mojo, we say enough!

So, here are some ways to recognize someone who is trying to stomp out your Sparkle and how to deal with them:

1) The Pessimist: They are constantly making negative comments about a situation or let you know how awful things are going. We have shot a ton of weddings and have come across this type of De-Sparkler many times. Usually this type of person is miserable in their own situation/life and so they feel the need to share the misery with all. They focus on the things that are going wrong that day or try and predict all of the things that will or could go wrong. If it is cloudy out, they are certain the storm is coming and the entire wedding is ruined.

How to deal: Kill them with positivity! Go overboard with your happiness and excitement and passion. Let them know that what they are saying is not welcome and that your outlook on the day (and life in general) is to look at the bright side. Be the "Give me lemons and we make Lemon Drop Martinis" kind of person. It is so much fun to sprinkle your happy all around them, sit back and watch as they have no more negative ammo to throw.

2) The Woe is Me: These guys are in a state of "the world has done me wrong" and again, they share their troubles openly.  They are the ones who share battle scars but not to share and learn from mistakes or to grow and hear about what you did in certain trying situations. Instead, they just want to share and have a pity party. 

How to deal: Listen, and again, share some positive insight and try and help remove the grey cloud even if it is temporary. Sometimes listening and agreeing just encourages and feeds their unhappiness. Try and lift them up. Share a Lemon Drop Martini, double, with them.

3) The Napolean: The know it all. The I have done it all. I am superior and I am here to make you feel inferior and not worthy. 

Oh these people. They can be extremely dangerous. They are seasoned in their industry and need to let you know that they have "been there and done that" and done it well. Instead of sharing their knowledge and helping out, they bash and discourage and know how to quickly strip away Sparkle and Light. 

How to deal: Be honest and straight forward. These people need to know their boundaries and you have to be the one to establish them. Not in a hateful way of course, but with truth and sincerity. They need to be encouraged to share whatever knowledge and experience they have with those who are still learning and developing their skills. Share the love! This can be threatening to The Napolean but hopefully in time, they will know your heart and realize that you are not trying to out do them or take over what they have worked long and hard to create and establish. In the photography industry, there is plenty of demand to go around. Let's just help each other out. 

We say all this with love and kindness of course. But we strongly believe that there is no excuse for those who are purposefully trying to knock you down or make you feel less inspired or defeated. Life is just to precious and short and we hope to motivate, inspire, uplift and help those we interact with.

Love people. Love yourself. Love is the key to inner light, inner beauty and will fuel your SPARKLE.

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Be Bold and Seek Adventure,

Liz and Mike

Michael ByrdComment